Peace In The Promise

When I was younger, I would love to go grocery shopping with my parents – for the quality time, sure, but mostly so that I could sneak snacks into the trolley without them noticing (I thought I was so slick…they totally knew!) We would reach the check out and begin loading the conveyer belt with our shopping, I would hold my breath and give a sheepish grin when whoever I was with (usually my mum) would see the item (you guessed it…chips!), look at me and sigh. You see, my strategy was, as long as they don’t say anything before we reach the check out – I’m good! Because by the time we reach the check out, they won’t want to make a fuss, and they’ll just be forced to put the snacks through! This strategy was not always effective (and was very naughty, might I add!), but it was a chance that my chip loving self was willing to take! (Sorry mum! Let’s hope my kids don’t return the favour 😬) I would more often than not get home, sneak the chips into my room, demolish them, feel sick, and then ponder as to whether I really should have grabbed the packet at all because now I can’t seem to find room to enjoy the yummy food that had been prepared for dinner (Was it worth it, childhood Mirembe? Was it reeeally worth it!?)

Ain’t that just like human nature?

We humans have a predictable habit of trying to attach God to what he did not anoint or ordain, with the expectation that will (or must) bless it. We then have the secondary habit of blaming him when it doesn’t work out in the way that we had wanted, or when he tells us to let it go. “But it’s not fair Goddd!”

God is all knowing and sovereign, but may we not mistake that for meaning that we should blindly run with whatever we feel like, or blow wherever the wind takes us with the argument, “Afterall, God is sovereign, so whatever I do is in his will”, for that could not be farther from the truth (see Proverbs 14:12, Romans 6:1-2, James 4:17). May we never forget that, as God keeps us, we too ought to do our part in following him. It is a divine partnership marked by continuous surrender and (what can quite often look like) foolish faith. We see this demonstrated in both the physical and spiritual following of Jesus by his 12 disciples!

We often over complicate it, then get put off by it, and are then drawn away by our own imaginations and desires – when, quite simply, our part is to follow Jesus.

I remember when God had told me to quit a job that I had not even officially started yet, and I obeyed…only to then apply for another job several months down the line! Haha. God had never told me to go for the job, but I told myself “Well…I have prayed on it…and I haven’t heard him say “no” soooo…I’m going to go for it!”

Soon after I received the congratulatory email offering me the job, I sensed the familiar conviction in my spirit concerning this job as I had felt for the previous job that God had told me to let go of (see my blogpost “God told me to quit my job, twice!“). I wrestled and wrestled with it as this would be the 2nd (possibly even 3rd!) time that I would have to let an organization down. I was also newly married, newly pregnant, and in need of (so I thought) a stable position with promised income for my family. I, in a way, was kind of telling God “If I let this go, where will my provision come from?” as if he was not the supplier of my needs (it’s easy to quote the scripture, and quite another thing to live it out haha)

One may say “But that’s not fair! He never actually told you “no” after you prayed about it…why didn’t he clearly tell you “no” if he didn’t want you to go for it?!”, and I will be honest with you, I too wrestled with this frustration at the time – however, keep in mind that, though I had this frustration, I still (by the grace of God) surrendered and laid the job down, even if I didn’t fully understand, and even with my many questions (it was hard ). I couldn’t hold God by the collar and demand that he give me the position, as…well firstly, He’s God, and secondly, deep down I knew that he knew what was ahead of me, and what he had ordained for my future…and, as great as the jobs may have looked, they clearly weren’t it!

Over time, my eyes were opened to the fact that I did not trust God to provide for me upon the cessation of my contract at my (then) workplace, so much so, that I had forgotten the very clear words that he had spoken to me about a year or so earlier concerning my future. He had already told me that I wasn’t going to be working in this area long, and yet I was prolonging my welcome! It was only when I felt the grace of God leave from me like a sheet of protection being pulled off my body as I entered the workplace that I totally surrendered and resigned (after a whole paid orientation day, y’all).

I think after tasting what it felt like to no longer continue on in his protection made me appreciate how it felt to be under it. My eyes were opened to the fact that I wouldn’t last 5 seconds in a place where God had not called me to go. In the words of Moses in Exodus 33:15 “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” I really did not want to go if God was not going with me, thank you!

Looking back, I can see that I was at a point in my life where God had graced me to see that I could not be completely joyous and full of peace if I was not positioned where He had called me to be. If we look at Jonah, there’s a possibility that he may have been “happy” that the Ninevites ‘may just get what they deserve’ as a result of him fleeing his responsibility, however, I cannot imagine that Jonah was full of complete peace in his decision to flee God’s call (if he was, I have many questions for Jonah, haha!). So often I think that we as humans can be so blinded by our pursuit of happiness that we forget to pursue Christ. It’s as though we don’t fully trust that his will for us will satisfy us, or fill us with the happiness that we are seeking, much less the eternal joy that our soul is truly hungering for!

I wonder if, in our quest for happiness, we will ever truly learn to appreciate that the very joy and happiness we are searching for has always been, and will forever be, in He who created us.

Jesus.

The best way to learn specifically about how an invention has been designed and created to thrive is by returning to and inquiring of the manufacturer. Know that He who created you knows what is best for you, including what will satisfy you, and fill you with unspeakable, eternal joy; that may very well be a lesson that many of us continue to learn for rest of our earthly lives, only to have the full comprehension of this revelation when any residual scales are removed from our eyes as we enter Glory!

Even so, my prayer remains that we all have the privilege of living in the freedom of this revelation earth-side, and don’t have to wait until Glory to rejoice in it!

Peace!